List

my reliable secretary is my blue notebook with a flipflop print on the cover. it was actually my journal during my summer practicum. i continued its purpose by making it as a to-do-list, and a lot of thought-list. sir dennis, during his talk last friday said that it would be helpful for us to make "The List" of the events that triggered you to write (but don't have the opportunity to actually write them down yet at the very moment they hit you).

+ two nights ago (july29), i dreamt about having a date with piolo pascual. i felt the urgency to capture it and immortalize it on paper! defeat the power of my forgetfulness. i was trying to recall how it went and while i was in my nasc4 class, i was writing it down. and soon forgot everyting else that occured. i wasn't able to catch the last feathers of those dreams i have experienced in my pillow.

+ the MRT commuters during rush hour are molecules in a solid matter. i was one of them.

+ Romans 8:25, "However, we hope for something we have not yet seen, and we patiently wait for it." good things come to those who wait.

+ "... when past starts to mingle with the present and starts to challenge the future..." -ma'am bucoy, eng106 class

+ i have to return to this list once again. soon.

splash of thought

*written july 11, 2007. about 9 in the morning in a piece of scratch paper.*

i always post a mental note about a topic that i would want to write about. it's a sudden gush of thought that i don't know where it exactly came from. but it hits you right through that you'd want to start immediately. well, that popping idea is usually the result of a series of thought, through contemplation... i was taking a bath one time and suddenly an idea came in that i tried to keep it and the urge of writing it down as soon as i finish that hygienic routine. sadly, in some cases, i guess the idea splashed out along with my splashing of water. the act of writing and the topic that i would want to write is like a significant other trying to compete for my attention with the other significant others in my life. and writing needs special attention.

it's 9:30 am. i need to lift myself up and head to my first class. browse through my notes first because of an anticipated quiz (which was postponed *smiley*). but it seems that Writing does not want it to end this way. so, i'll continue this later... i hope i'll be able to achieve this momentum again... i got to persevere for that.

ü

kapag ako naghihintay, bihira mo akong makikitang nakasimagot o umuungot o hindi mapakali. ito ang tingin ko sa sarili ko. kung nakakadama man ako ng pagkainis dahil sa mga bagay na walang kasiguruhan, hindi na ito nakakalusot na makita sa mukha ko. pero naiinip din ako. sinisikap ko lang maging panatag sa kaalamang darating din 'yun. darating din sya. darating. masarap namang umasa. hawak naman Niya ang kinabukasan ko.ü

matter occupies space.

matter occupies space. just as when you put ice cubes in a glass of water, the water overflows to be able to contain the ice cubes. in the same way, learning teaches us to give way to varying ideas by setting aside the prejudices that fill our minds, emptying ourselves with the "excess cubics of water", and welcoming what can be poured over.

paano ba 'to?

itutuloy ko lang 'yung nabura kong naisulat dati. o isusulat muli sa tagalog. ewan kung kulang na ba itong isusulat ko o ito ba talaga mismo 'yon. basta. kung papipiliin ako kung sa nakaraan ba o hinaharap, pipiliin ko ang nakaraan. hindi sa anupamang sentimyento at panghihinayang. mababaw lang naman ang dahilan. ang nakaraan na tinutukoy ko (kung kailangan ng konkretong halimbawa) ay nung elementarya pa ko. kasi naman kahit may pagkamalinaw pa ang mga nangyari noon sa akin, gusto ko ring balikan kung paano ako mag-isip noon. posible ba? konkreto ba ang ideya ko? hmm.

noon feeling ko pag naiisip ko sa ngayon, ang mundo ay kulay sepia. mabagal. mahinahon. mas simple. malamig ang hangin at mas sariwa. maonti lang ang gulo. ngayon, conscious na ako sa mga nangyayari. kaya naman, nakaka-haggard pag minsan.

pero ayos lang. ganito naman talaga ang takbo ng munggo.. este mundo at ng pag-iisip ng tao. habang tumatanda, mas lumalawak ang perspektibo. sa lawak ay nagiging gatuldok na lang ang mga karanasan sa nakaraan. pero hahayaan ko na lang ang sarili kong i-challenge 'yon.

*magulo pa ito. naguguluhan kasi pa ako*