my semender

MY SEMENDER

written last 21 October 2007

 

                Last Saturday morning, I traveled back home without carrying the academic burden I usually have. My sem is over. I am not sure if this statement would be accompanied by the usual smile that it could entail. As I write this (in paper), my eyes follow the advancing strokes of my pen while I wear an emotionless face, without much facial muscle contraction. I don’t know if the effects of “my sem is over” have finally reached my brain into realizations.

 

                I lift back the pages of my life’s journal, maybe about five to fifteen leaves back, and read through those half-filled/ bulleted/ multi-colored pages. Thankfully they could serve useful in this self-reflective activity named writing, which is somehow tough for my forgetful self.

 

                Maybe this semender output isn’t really listing a graduation from the learning experiences I have gathered this sem. There are just some things that you cannot instantly learn in a sem (or two), and I count to those even my academic subjects in. Endings give way to aftermaths, the stage which could cause you the most impact. And here I recount my culminating aftermaths:

 

Ø       Exposing my writings is one brave act I’m continually learning. My writings are not supposed to be read only by myself and by the instructor I’ll be submitting my writing to. It would inevitably be exposed to inquisitive and critical individuals later on, especially if they are posted in a blog like this.

 

Revealing a part of yourself in writing is not merely bulging out your insecurities or arrogance, but an affirmation that one can have something to share to the world. My ignorance and discomfort to techie gadgets and technology itself should not overcome me and my writing. It should not be an excuse for me to not write at all.

 

“If you cannot write with what you have then you cannot write at all.” My creative writing teacher this sem told this in class in connection with us being required to set up our own blogsites. I was startled and then challenged. I felt it specifically addressed to me at that instance. And sometimes, you needed to be bold and explicit about yourself to know what’s good for you and to welcome avenues for shaping up, hmm, although you can also go on using metaphors.

 

Ø       I’m continually learning the beautiful act of giving. And yes, it’s best learned when you are put into situations that would require you to practice such. Or choose to not. Stretching my week’s budget when I’m in Los Baños is always little miracles. And I’m blessed for still having the budget to be stretched. Though amount and quantity may not really matter all the time, your willingness and desire to give counts like the widow’s offering in the book of Luke.

 

Ø        etc.

 

 

I’m up for a semestral break, which isn’t actually a break from the lessons that keep coming and I am noticing. Maybe this sembreak is an opportunity for me to reread those lessons, to apply and reapply them. Well, after I graduate from college, there won’t be any semesters for me to have semenders anymore.

 

“It’s God who will work in you to make you willing and able to obey Him.”