The "OK lang" Syndrome

Let’s start off with this simple exercise. If you have encountered/ will be asked the following questions, how did/will you respond?

• Kamusta ka? (Or for the jejemons out there, mUzHta p0whz?!~~)
• How do you feel about it?
• Masaya ka ba?
• Kamusta kayo ni ____?
• How’s life?

For some, especially when talking with a relatively close friend, the responses may lengthen into two or more sentences, depending on how the other party would follow up on your initial response. But it would usually start with this—okay lang. How was yours?

Description

If most of your responses above are “okay lang,” “fine,” “I’m okay,” and other variety of such phrase, then you’re one of the many people who obviously acquired the syndrome. The OK lang syndrome is heard (or read) from a number of majority, in a given situation, with a given mode of communication (whether through personal conversation, text messaging, chat, or call). Do you count yourself in?

To answer okay lang is vague. Sometimes, responding okay lang to those who ask about how we are is an action unknowingly done. Sometimes it’s not, which leads us to listing down the other reasons why.

Reasons

You may have answered “okay lang” because ______:

1. you really do not want to talk further and spend time with the person who asked you.
2. you are not comfortable sharing what you’re feeling (due to some more reasons).
3. you consciously feel that the other person is not really concerned about your answer and that he just asked you out of courtesy.
4. you haven’t really thought about what to answer since you yourself cannot even comprehend what you’re exactly going through.
5. you just can’t find anymore words to say and those phrases automatically jumped out of your mouth.
6. you sense that the other person has more to say than he has more time to listen to you elaborating your situation.
7. it’s to affirm the other party that yes, you’re completely fine.
8. the question, for you, is also as vague as your reply.
9. you just believe you’re okay lang (even if you’re actually not, and friends around you sense that, too).
10. that’s just the façade that you have learned to live with.

I can encircle multiple letters there as I am an avid okay-lang-user myself (and so I’m writing this entry for myself most especially). Given these (you may even have a personal reason apart from those mentioned), I believe there’s more to having this syndrome that we may want to see the “dangers” that this kind of mere response can do affecting your relationships and yourself.

Dangers

Never better, just okay. We may have been used to describing how we were or how we have been as just okay. It’s boxed that way. Aren’t there any events that took place that made your life better (or worse) or exciting… at all?

Overlooking what really is. When you merely say okay lang, it’s like letting things pass by without confronting what’s really needed to be dealt with. How would one prevent and fix the unnoticed crack that could soon lead to brokenness? (Remember Carmina Villaroel and her kids’ toothpaste commercial as they paint the fence and the door?)

Trust and accountability are not established. The answers that we are giving towards the other person concerned may be his only reliable gateway to know how you really are. And you may be preventing him/her and yourself to experience genuine accountability.

Okay is not okay. Our lives are so dynamic that describing life and how do we do should not be contained into just saying life is okay.

Keep-out-of-me!-attitude. That two-word reply may send a message to the other person to back off. Read: “Do not dig too deep anymore. I’m okay.” Any opportunity to give or receive help or experience fellowship has been ceased right away.

Recommendations and Future Benefits

Offer more than what’s asked. Open up and share. Overcome yourself. If you’re okay, it will help to give supporting sentences why. The same will do if you’re not. Surprisingly, as we relate our situation to a willing ear, we get full grasp about how we actually are and get the support we just needed. Voicing out your feelings sometimes helps you analyze your situation better, and make insightful steps for its improvement after.

Know. It may not be you at times, but it’s the other person whom you asked to tell you the dreadful okay lang. Of course it would be approving to hear that your friend is okay lang. But take the initiative to know why (if he pleases, and with prudent probing) so you can rejoice (or empathize) with him/her better.

Appreciate the person who asked you and make him feel that he’s one great encouragement in merely asking how you are.

Your answer matters. Language (using words) is a very important tool humans are blessed with. We do not just buzz or bark or howl or tweet (well this one, we do now). We say, explain, teach, talk (a lot), rebuke, confess, express (in a variety of creative ways!). How would you like to take good advantage of communication? Your answer matters.