The "OK lang" Syndrome

Let’s start off with this simple exercise. If you have encountered/ will be asked the following questions, how did/will you respond?

• Kamusta ka? (Or for the jejemons out there, mUzHta p0whz?!~~)
• How do you feel about it?
• Masaya ka ba?
• Kamusta kayo ni ____?
• How’s life?

For some, especially when talking with a relatively close friend, the responses may lengthen into two or more sentences, depending on how the other party would follow up on your initial response. But it would usually start with this—okay lang. How was yours?

Description

If most of your responses above are “okay lang,” “fine,” “I’m okay,” and other variety of such phrase, then you’re one of the many people who obviously acquired the syndrome. The OK lang syndrome is heard (or read) from a number of majority, in a given situation, with a given mode of communication (whether through personal conversation, text messaging, chat, or call). Do you count yourself in?

To answer okay lang is vague. Sometimes, responding okay lang to those who ask about how we are is an action unknowingly done. Sometimes it’s not, which leads us to listing down the other reasons why.

Reasons

You may have answered “okay lang” because ______:

1. you really do not want to talk further and spend time with the person who asked you.
2. you are not comfortable sharing what you’re feeling (due to some more reasons).
3. you consciously feel that the other person is not really concerned about your answer and that he just asked you out of courtesy.
4. you haven’t really thought about what to answer since you yourself cannot even comprehend what you’re exactly going through.
5. you just can’t find anymore words to say and those phrases automatically jumped out of your mouth.
6. you sense that the other person has more to say than he has more time to listen to you elaborating your situation.
7. it’s to affirm the other party that yes, you’re completely fine.
8. the question, for you, is also as vague as your reply.
9. you just believe you’re okay lang (even if you’re actually not, and friends around you sense that, too).
10. that’s just the façade that you have learned to live with.

I can encircle multiple letters there as I am an avid okay-lang-user myself (and so I’m writing this entry for myself most especially). Given these (you may even have a personal reason apart from those mentioned), I believe there’s more to having this syndrome that we may want to see the “dangers” that this kind of mere response can do affecting your relationships and yourself.

Dangers

Never better, just okay. We may have been used to describing how we were or how we have been as just okay. It’s boxed that way. Aren’t there any events that took place that made your life better (or worse) or exciting… at all?

Overlooking what really is. When you merely say okay lang, it’s like letting things pass by without confronting what’s really needed to be dealt with. How would one prevent and fix the unnoticed crack that could soon lead to brokenness? (Remember Carmina Villaroel and her kids’ toothpaste commercial as they paint the fence and the door?)

Trust and accountability are not established. The answers that we are giving towards the other person concerned may be his only reliable gateway to know how you really are. And you may be preventing him/her and yourself to experience genuine accountability.

Okay is not okay. Our lives are so dynamic that describing life and how do we do should not be contained into just saying life is okay.

Keep-out-of-me!-attitude. That two-word reply may send a message to the other person to back off. Read: “Do not dig too deep anymore. I’m okay.” Any opportunity to give or receive help or experience fellowship has been ceased right away.

Recommendations and Future Benefits

Offer more than what’s asked. Open up and share. Overcome yourself. If you’re okay, it will help to give supporting sentences why. The same will do if you’re not. Surprisingly, as we relate our situation to a willing ear, we get full grasp about how we actually are and get the support we just needed. Voicing out your feelings sometimes helps you analyze your situation better, and make insightful steps for its improvement after.

Know. It may not be you at times, but it’s the other person whom you asked to tell you the dreadful okay lang. Of course it would be approving to hear that your friend is okay lang. But take the initiative to know why (if he pleases, and with prudent probing) so you can rejoice (or empathize) with him/her better.

Appreciate the person who asked you and make him feel that he’s one great encouragement in merely asking how you are.

Your answer matters. Language (using words) is a very important tool humans are blessed with. We do not just buzz or bark or howl or tweet (well this one, we do now). We say, explain, teach, talk (a lot), rebuke, confess, express (in a variety of creative ways!). How would you like to take good advantage of communication? Your answer matters.

You reap what you sow

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

~Galatians 6:7-9

today is June 3. 205 days before christmas (given na december 25)! tama ba bilang?

"The only person who can stop you from becoming what God intends you to become is you." -John Maxwell

"When God gives you a vision and you answer the call, you'll stretch and grow in new ways no matter what happens.. If your dream succeeds, live in thanksgiving; if it fails, take joy in growing."

11 days to go

Lately, some of my friends would fancy themselves over countdowns. One, as she approached her wedding day, which came last April 17, and another as she's counting the days toward her own wedding day as well, which will be happening on June next year. I count with them, too. But well, my own countdown is focused towards December 5 which is 220 days from today. I'll leave it there.

Now, what's with the "11 days"?

If you're mentally counting while reading this, you would obviously know that it's the big day when (hopefully) everyone who loves the country enough would make the wise step of exercising their privilege through shading the right circles that correspond the name of the people who they believe will live out the positions they're running for with integrity and with genuine love for the country and its people.

I haven't completed my list yet. But somehow have trimmed down my choices and learned to set my standards of whom to entitle my "yes" to.

There's been a number of posts that educate us about this whole election thing (and I'm so much grateful about them), which made you and me realize that the coming one would not be that ordinary. There's this certain desperation that has led to passion exercised by many that shouts for the real-deal and clamors for this country's reconstruction.

Even those who are running for office knew from the start that it's a big risk setting yourself under public scrutiny and proving them that you're the person they need to lift up the Philippines again, not to mention, to eradicate corruption. Coming from the present administration, it sure is a big leap of guts and faith for these political candidates. (I remember the infamous Eddie Gil who made himself popular during the 2004 elections when he said that he will pay for all the Philippines' debt. Of course, what happened was he was given a short-lived showbiz career afterward. Then I haven't heard of him lately.)

Jethro told Moses (Exodus 18:21), "You will need to appoint some competent leaders who respect God and are trustworthy and honest." The Bible has set the ground of the qualities of a leader whom we must choose. Even if one is not a Bible-believer, he may succumb to this “principle” as good and a fitting one to base your judgment from.

I encountered that verse above when Ptr. Peter Tan-Chi spoke about it before the crowd in Araneta Coliseum during Puso sa Puso. My head just kept nodding. The event was one perfect time to capture what really is in the hearts of the seven (We're informed that Gibo and Erap weren't able to come because they're stuck with their political sorties.) presidentiables (thus, the event's title). They had their fair share of opportunity on the couch. I had my initial judgment though that they maybe just saying things that the audience would want to hear, especially that it's sort of a Christian gathering.

At the end of the day, I cannot accurately judge their hearts. Nonetheless, I believe that these people knew about the higher authority that could accurately determine the outcome of man's activities.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."  ~2 Chronicles 7:14

Someone once said that the most crucial position is being down on your knees. Most of us are presently in the most crucial time of our history, I believe. This may be the latest possible hour, our "11th hour".

The Lord has given us the freewill to choose. He made us both critical and wise. Whether you're bagging for an official seat or not, you do have a position, and it matters. I will make my vote count, knowing that He's sovereign above all things.

I'm looking forward to 11 days from today and to the days after that. He will heal our land.

“Trying to earn God’s favor is exhausting. Accepting the grace He offers is life changing.” ~Blackaby, The Experience Day-by-Day